6 Fun and Furious Movie Lines About Retirement and 401(k)s

The House

How are 401(k)s portrayed in movies and pop culture?

It’s cliché to ask if life imitates art or art imitates life, but the way in which the retirement savings vehicle plays out on the celluloid (now digital) screen lends insight into how it’s understood and accepted by the general public.

We like lists, so we put together a few of the funnier, dramatic and downright maddening movie quotes involving DC plans.

The House

The 2017 comedy starring Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler also involved 529s in a roundabout way. Protagonists Scott and Kate Johansen fail to save for their daughter’s college tuition, instead banking on a scholarship that a corrupt town official allocates elsewhere.

The Johansens team with a down-and-out neighbor to set up an illegal casino in the cul-de-sac, attracting the attention of the police, mob and fellow suburbanites.

Scott: “It says, right here, we have four hundred and one thousand dollars.”

Dawn: “Uh, that says you have a 401k account.”

Zyzzyx Rd

This creepy, noir failure of a flick has the distinction of making just $30 (not a typo), even though it featured such notable names as Katherine Heigl and Tom Sizemore.

The film opened with a discussion of 401ks and financial planning, which is ironic given the money lost by the film’s producers. Desert graves, dead bodies, psychotic sirens, the movie had it all—except an audience.

Playing It Cool

This is one of our favorite 401k movie lines, from a romantic comedy starring Chris Evans (Captain America), Michelle Monaghan, Aubrey Plaza and Patrick Warburton. The release didn’t exactly do well, but despite its 14% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, we love it for the line nonetheless, delivered by Philip Baker Hall’s “Granddad” character:

“Love is like your 401k; it matches your investment. You love a little, you’re loved a little.”

Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room

We said art reflects life (or vice versa), but sometimes life is just life, especially with the infuriating case involving the Enron debacle, the lessons of which, as we routinely rant, are increasingly forgotten by younger plan participants.

The most headshaking moment in this 2005 documentary came during a company town hall.

“Should we invest all of our 401k in Enron stock?” the HR rep is asked by an employee.

“Absolutely! Don’t you guys agree?” she says, looking at the Enron executives.

“You’re doing good,” CEO Jeff Skilling says.

The Intern

This 2015 drama/comedy (dramedy) starring Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway is pretty much a warning against retirement—or retirement without plan or purpose. Lose your sense of direction and value, and you lose yourself, De Niro tells us in the opening voiceover, which is worth the watch for that scene alone.

“In retirement, there’s an ongoing relentless effort in creativity,” the legendary actor intones. “I tried yoga, learned to cook, bought some plants, took classes in Mandarin—believe me, I’ve tried everything. I just know there’s a hole in my life and I need to fill it. Soon.”

The Wedding Date

We often preach about the perils of early withdrawal cashout leakage. It goes double when the proceeds are used to hire a gigolo in a (very) misguided attempt to have him pose as your boyfriend at your sister’s wedding in order to somehow get your ex-fiancé to once again fall for you. We will say the screwball plan made us immediately glad the ex-fiancé was able to escape this complete nutbag of a main character, played by Debra Messing.

Nick Mercer: “This happened to you?”

Kat Ellis: “Happened in the sense that I picked up the phone, tracked you down, flew you here, and gave you $6,000 out of my 401k.”