“How many people in this room know their purpose, not today, not tomorrow, but in life?” Michael Kutcher, Transamerica’s Strategic Business Planning Manager, asked at the beginning of an emotional and engaging keynote presentation at LeafHouse National Retirement Symposium (LNRS) in Austin, Texas, last week.
“I think we run through life not knowing which end is up,” he added. “How many times have we arrived at work or the grocery store with no recollection of the ride? I’m here to give perspective.”
It’s the unexpected moments that make us happy, sad, and make us think, he noted, explaining his own experiences with multiple health challenges and the effects on his family.
Born February 7, 1978, in Cedar Rapid, Iowa, he was the surprise twin of his (slightly) older brother, actor and investor Ashton Kutcher. Weighing 4.1 lbs. and struggling to breathe, he was read the Last Rights, with doctors believing he wouldn’t survive the night. But he did and eventually went home.
Yet the struggles continued. At age three, his mother noticed he lagged other children in development and discovered he had cerebral palsy, the leading motor skill affliction among children.
“We never talked about it in my family,” he said, meaning it was never used as an excuse, and the atmosphere at home was always inclusive.
The playground was different, and he was called hurtful and disparaging names, with his brother always by his side to come to his defense.
Profound insight
A game of “Horse” in his driveway when he and his brother were age 10 provided one unforgettable memory, mainly due to Ashton’s mature attitude for someone so young.
“My bother made a shot from his right side. Cerebral palsy severely impacts the right side of the body. I said it wasn’t fair and that I couldn’t make that shot. He said, ‘I won’t always be there to make the shot for you. Mom won’t always be there to make the shot for you. What are you going to do then? You’ve got to take it.’”
It was soon after, at age 13, that his heart began to fail, and he was given three to four weeks to live. He went into cardiac arrest but miraculously received a new heart within 24 hours, almost unheard of today.
“That was what gave me perspective, and it was the first time I told my twin and my family that I loved them,” Kutcher said. “Today, 30 years later, there is not a text, call, or email that we don’t end with ‘I love you.’”
He would have two more open-heart surgeries and ongoing medical challenges, but no matter, “My brother taught me obstacles are opportunities.”
Finding his purpose
He found his sense of purpose at age 30 when Ashton described Michael’s cerebral palsy in an interview with a national media outlet. Initially uncomfortable with the widespread revelation, he eventually began lobbying for children with what he called “diffabilities.”
“I hate the word disability,” he emphatically noted. “I use diffability because why the heck would we want to be the same? Differences make the world go around. I now lobby, work for Transamerica, and am writing my autobiography, but none of that really matters. Today I’ve found my purpose as a husband and father.”
He left LNRS attendees with seven keys to life:
- The world is changing—how will you adapt to this change and see opportunities rather than obstacles.
- Always look for a new perspective.
- Reach out and give a helping hand.
- Take 10 seconds to simply look at someone special to you and be in the moment.
- Take time with your kids; you won’t get that time back once it’s gone.
- Take risks—order the octopus on the menu.
- Shut off the electronics and focus on what’s essential in life.
“And always remember,” Kutcher concluded, “someone else is happy with far less than what you have.”